Dear Amy: I have a common question, but now that it has come up in my own household, it feels unique to our family.

Before having children, my wife and I agreed that I would be the stay-at-home parent, and she would continue with her career.

Fortunately, she has a fulfilling career that also pays enough to fully support our household.

When we adopted our first child, I left my job and stayed home. It worked out well.

Now we have two young children. My wife’s career has also intensified. She works hard and finds her career fulfilling.

The issue is about what happens when she gets home.

She’s great with the kids, but has stated that basically all of the work related to the children and our home should fall onto me.

The way I see it, her idea is that she should work 40-50 hours a week at her career, and I should work 168 hours a week at … everything else.

What is the right balance?

– Weary Wives

Dear Weary: In my opinion, the most balanced arrangement is that your job is to 100 percent maintain hearth and children during the hours when your wife is working outside the home.

When your wife comes home, your workload there should decrease to 50 percent, and hers should increase to 50 percent.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.