Ask Amy: ‘I’m a happy drunk’

Ask Amy: ‘I’m a happy drunk’

Dear Amy: I am a man in my early-70′s, and I drink too much.

I started when I was 16 and have continued my entire life. Five or six cocktails (80 proof) each evening is the norm for me.

I haven’t looked into Alcoholics Anonymous for the following reason: I don’t have anyone to apologize to. Everything you hear about AA involves atoning for all the people you have hurt, but alcohol hasn’t caused problems for me.

I’m a happy drunk. I sit in my chair and drink and watch ball games. It hasn’t caused any marital, family, or legal issues. I never missed work due to a hangover. People tell me I am the easiest-going guy they have ever met. I coached my two sons for years in baseball. I never drank before games or practices. I never drink before any type of public function, and never drive drunk. Since retiring from my career in 2016, I have been operating a very successful business from my home.

The last physical I had (five years ago) revealed that my liver is fine. I am healthy, and cycle about 50 miles a week. I doubt I could quit cold turkey. I have the shakes when I wake up in the morning and I usually have one drink before noon just to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest. I’m also a stubborn old coot when it comes to taking advice, but this problem has me stumped.

A lot of people in my age group have lots of health problems. I just keep motoring along, but I know this amount of alcohol is bound to catch up with me. I know I should quit. Your advice?

– Happy Drunk

Dear Drunk: I genuinely appreciate the fact that you know you need to address your addiction.

Although your reason for avoiding it is the very essence of a specious denial, AA is not the only venue through which to confront your drinking. AA does not treat addiction but is a support and fellowship group for alcoholics.

Your claim that you are a “happy drunk” is somewhat contradicted by the evidence you present. You are obviously addicted, you’ve got the shakes, and you need to have alcohol in order to function physically, so I suggest that your addiction has in fact affected your life and relationships in profound ways.

You are relying on a five-year-old physical for evidence that you are healthy. Your first step should be to have a thorough checkup; describe your alcohol addiction frankly and honestly with your physician, and ask for advice on how to address it.

There are medications available to treat alcohol use disorder, but because you seem to live alone, surrounded in your home by a lifetime of addictive habits and triggers (as well as your drug of choice) – intensive, medically supervised in-patient rehab might be the best course for you.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.