Adoption nightmares: How Oklahoma could turn family dreams into heartbreak for trans youth

Adoption nightmares: How Oklahoma could turn family dreams into heartbreak for trans youth

Trans children of Oklahoma in need of an adoptive or foster parent could be placed in unsupportive homes.

Senate Bill 1677, a new bill for the Oklahoma Children’s Code and sponsored by Republican Sen. Julie Daniels would give way for the religious beliefs of foster parents to be considered above the universally recognized “Best Interest of the Child” legal standard that is currently used. The standard has been a guide for many judicial decisions relating to family matters such as family visits, child custody and more.

The new bill, introduced by Rep. Daniels on Jan. 16, would prevent the Oklahoma Department of Human Services from requiring “any current or prospective adoptive or foster parent to affirm, accept, or support any government policy regarding sexual orientation or gender identity that conflicts with the parent’s sincerely held religious or moral beliefs.”

The bill also states that the Oklahoma Dept. of Human Services cannot deny an adoptive or foster parent their eligibility based upon the parent’s “sincerely held religious or moral beliefs regarding sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Josh Payton, an attorney who, along with his wife Jennifer Payton co-founded the Oklahoma Equality Law Center—the only organization in Oklahoma providing direct legal services solely to LGBTQ people — believes SB 1677 will put LGBTQ kids in danger.

“The argument from [the legislators] is that the best interest of the child remains the standard, [so] how can this be so when this new standard would provide a legal support for the placement of kids in unsupportive homes?” said Payton, whose experience working with queer, trans and nonbinary kids showed that having supportive adults in their lives is a key factor in determining an LGBTQ child’s mental well-being life trajectory.

He adds that the greater implication of SB 1677 is an attempt by the state legislature to erase LGBTQ people, and that by weakening the current standards of adoption and fostering simply in favor of extreme religious opinion, the Oklahoma legislature is “legalizing child harm.”

“Extreme religious beliefs, no matter how sincere, MUST be considered when protecting the best interest of the LGBTQ+ child,” he continued. “Allowing religious households to discriminate against LGBTQ kids will cause immeasurable harm. This is a life and death issue.”

Out of last year’s record-breaking number of 600 anti-LGBTQ legislation introduced across 49 states, Oklahoma was the second state with the highest number of bills on the floor with 41 pieces of legislation. This year, Oklahoma has already taken the reign with 58 bills, SB 1677 being one of them.

In one section of the bill, it is stated that the Oklahoma Department of Human Services shall not create a presumption that “any particular placement is contrary to the best interest of the child.”

Critics of the bill worry that it would give leeway to religious adoptive or foster parents to practice religion-driven conversion therapy unto LGBTQ kids—especially when another section aims to protect the adoptive or foster parents by granting them the right to “raise a claim in a judicial or administrative proceeding and seek injunctive relief, compensatory damages, reasonable attorney fees, or other appropriate relief.”

In 2022, The Trevor Project, the leading suicide prevention organization for LGBTQ youth, conducted a study, finding that LGBTQ youth are not inherently prone to suicide risk because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, but are rather at higher risk simply due to mistreatment and societal stigma. In addition, nearly a quarter of LGBTQ youth reported being threatened with or subjected to conversion therapy.

According to Andrew C. Bentley, a licensed clinical social worker working in private practice as a therapist in Oklahoma, conversion therapy does more significant harm than it does good.

“There is nothing therapeutic or healthy about so-called conversion therapy which is peddled by charlatans to afraid individuals that don’t understand the LGBTQ community,” he said, adding that the practice inflicts deep betrayal and leaves its victims with “lifelong psychological scars and often near insurmountable trust issues that deny them access to healthy relationships and community.”

He adds that a significant risk of this bill’s progression would be an increase in LGBTQ youth in Oklahoma committing suicide. And as an LGBTQ person, Bentley says, “Oklahoma is not a safe place for the LGBTQ population. I don’t feel safe living here and that is the sentiment of the vast majority of the community that I have contact with.”

Nicole McAfee, queer executive director of the statewide political advocacy organization for LGBTQ people Freedom Oklahoma, calls SB 1677 the state’s “latest attempt to enshrine in law policy that is purposefully harmful and exclusionary.”

“If Sen. Daniels’ policy advances, we’ll see foster placements and adoptions further weaponized to the detriment of Oklahoma children,” they said. “Being placed in the care of the state—subjected to the foster system—is already a traumatic experience. What a horrifying thought to make that further lonelier and more dangerous for Oklahoma’s LGBTQ youth.”

Meanwhile, Michelle McCane, a queer woman based in Tulsa, Okla. currently running for a seat at the House of Representatives in District 72, says that LGBTQ people in the state are vilified by elected officials and those who share myths and half-truths “about a made-up agenda while courting the most aggressive supporter who regularly champion violence.”

McCane tells Reckon that the hateful rhetoric spreading across the state has already driven some of her friends to flee while others have exit plans if not already making some.

“Friends and family from out of state regularly urge me to move away or question why I stay in a place that doesn’t seem to want me,” she said. “I feel frustrated, angry, disappointed, and sad. These legislators have the power to improve the lives of millions of Oklahomans. Instead, they are leveraging hate and fear to bully a small population of marginalized and at-risk people and limit their rights.”

To learn more about how you can support LGBTQ rights in Oklahoma and in general, McCane and recommends finding community amidst the chaos, because it is “just as vital that Oklahomans ensure they have supportive people around them and that we are checking in on each other,” she said.

“We must take care of ourselves and our neighbors to continue the work of holding Oklahoma’s elected officials accountable to do what’s best for all Oklahomans.”