Dear Annie: I’m a 50-plus married empty nester with a full-time job and three dogs. Life is still busy for us.

My mom, stepfather and younger half-brother live in another state. My father died when I was young, and my mother remarried and had my brother.

At 17, I moved out and have been mostly out of sight, out of mind to my family. Although we talk on the phone and see each other on some holidays, I have always been on the outside of their circle, which I have learned to accept and don’t harbor any negative feelings about.

Recently, my mom and stepfather have separated, and I’ve since learned that they have no savings or retirement funds. My mom and brother want my stepfather to come live with me, and my mother plans on moving in with my brother.

The emotional battle that is taking place in me is almost too much. Am I supposed to say yes out of duty? He doesn’t drive, and we aren’t public transport accessible. I’m not ready to give up my job to take care of or keep someone else entertained. Am I the worst?

I feel like I am only being asked because there is literally no one else to ask. My mother and brother are inseparable, leaving my stepfather out of their circle as well.

If I say no, I’ll lose all three. If I say yes, I could lose my own spouse and, possibly, my sanity. Thank you for your advice. — Midlife Guilt

Dear Midlife Guilt: No, you are not the worst. Your mother and brother should not be guilting you into taking on a responsibility that you aren’t equipped for. And there’s nothing selfish about protecting your marriage, your job and your well-being.

Explore some other options with your family; this might involve some creative thinking.

Does your stepfather qualify for any government assistance? Are you in a place to provide some financial support? Remember that saying no to this one option doesn’t mean you don’t care.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].