DEAR ABBY: Nine years ago, I severed all ties with my mother-in-law after she accused my husband of sexually assaulting his sister when she was in her teens. His sister died nine years ago from starvation after she was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Since then, I have not spoken to his mother. However, two of my children are recently married. I’m starting to feel guilty for not telling her that her two grandchildren got married. Should I say something to her? — FEELING GUILTY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I do think you should speak to her. It is a shame that she has lost both of her children.

If you think it would make her feel better, you and your husband could tell her about the weddings — but only in the context of healing the breach that may have been created because of a delusion suffered by your late, mentally ill sister-in-law.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.