Asking Eric: Husband says the wrong thing after sex

Dear Eric: My husband and I have an active sex life. But, after sex, he says “Thank You”. I know he appreciates it, but I feel a bit cheap after hearing him say that. I would prefer something like “I love you”. I’ve told him that, but he doesn’t seem to understand. Am I being petty, or should I expect more?

– No Thank You

Dear No Thank You: “Thank you” is sweet, but if it feels less like pillow talk and more like you just tipped a pizza delivery driver, then it’s not doing what he wants it to do. Good sex is about good communication as much as anything else. So, he needs to hear what you’re saying and respond in kind, even if he doesn’t understand it.

Tell him again what you want. “I know what you mean when you say, ‘Thank you’, but it means so much more to me if you say, ‘I love you’. Can we try that tonight and see how that feels?”