Dear Eric: I’ve had a close friend for at least 35 years. She lost her parents first and I was always there for her and her family, attending funerals and the visitations after.

I lost my mom a couple of years ago. My friend texted me to say how sorry she was for my loss. No funeral attending, no visiting, not even a phone call! I was very hurt by it and still am.

As time went on, she sent texts on birthdays and holidays like nothing happened. I kept waiting for her to contact me to explain her silence and lack of compassion after my major loss, she knows how close Mom and I were. After two years of giving her a chance to explain but not getting an explanation, I now get an invitation to a major milestone birthday celebration of hers.

When she texted me, reminding me to respond, I said that we need to talk in person. I told her how painful her silence was for me all these years, as well as confusing. Didn’t she wonder what was happening and why we didn’t see each other for two years? Her answer was that she was going through major personal drama at the time, and it was consuming all her space and energy.

She went into it in great detail. Throughout the two hours we spent together, she did not ask about my family. There was no apology, no accountability, no regret and no acknowledgement of the pain she caused me. So, the RSVP date is approaching, and I am strongly leaning toward not attending. What do you think I should do?

– Neglected Friend

Dear Friend: Good on you for giving her the opportunity to hear how her behavior affected you. It’s a shame that squandered that opportunity and reverted to her pattern of self-interest.

A life filled to the brim with drama is not an excuse for not making amends, which involves acknowledging harm done, asking for forgiveness and seeking repair.

Without repair, you’re just going to continue to feel resentment. And the drama factory whirs back into production. So, decline the invitation.

No accountability plus no acknowledgment plus no apology equals no attendance.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.