Dear Eric: My husband and I were invited to his distant cousin’s wedding. Not only is it expensive to go to but we just discovered that the groom is an anti-vaxxer and (probable) racist through his long Facebook history. I’m Black and I’d be the only Black person there for this geographically isolated wedding.

We are already going low contact with a few of his relatives who will be at the wedding and the whole thing seems more trouble than it’s worth. Do we respectfully decline? Should my husband go alone?

– Reluctant Guest

Dear Guest: You already know you don’t want to go to this wedding so check that “Regrets” box for both of you and keep it moving. The couple surely doesn’t want anyone there who isn’t going to feel comfortable. Enjoy your free weekend!

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.