Dear Annie: I have three sons with whom I have no relationship.

Two are drug addicts and alcoholics, and one is a narcissist. Their father was emotionally abusive, and after 22 years of marriage and much counseling, I finally divorced him.

My sons don’t care about me, let alone love me. I have tried for the past 20 years, since the divorce, to have a close relationship, but to no avail. They just don’t care.

My heart has been broken in two over and over.

My therapist agrees with me to let it go by not contacting them anymore since they never respond. It’s so hard, but I’m trying.

If I completely let go, I know I’ll never ever hear from them again. — Should I Let Go for My Own Sanity?

Dear Should I Let Go: Your sons had a very turbulent childhood, and most likely, they love you but are just mad at you, their father and the entire situation.

Hurt people hurt people, and it sounds like they are hurting with alcohol, drugs and narcissism. I’m not sure you can “let go” of your children, no matter how old they are. What you can do is work on your own anger, hurt and regret about what happened and heal from it.

The more you forgive yourself, your ex-husband and actions that your grown children have done by pushing you away, the more at peace you will be.

The more you are at peace, the greater likelihood they will come back to you when they are ready and in need of support. If they don’t come back, at least you will be living with more joy.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].