Dear Eric: I am a 65-year-old widow with two adult sons in their late 20s. No partners or grandchildren and that’s fine with me as they are still young and maturing.

One lives too far away to see more than twice a year. The other lives close enough for me to have dinner with once a week. I try not to be needy and give them space, but I’m lonely and I’m sad they don’t call me more often.

I think they’re just living their lives and not thinking about me, which I probably did to my parents when I was their age. Am I expecting too much?

I tend to take it personally and think they don’t like me, which seems absurd. When I do talk to them, there’s no conflicts or problems that would discourage them from reaching out again.

Would I be wrong to tell them I’m lonely and would like to hear from them more often? For the record, I am trying to expand my social circle and do things I’m interested in, but I’m growing tired of doing things alone and it takes a long time to make new close friends. I also can’t help but think if I’d had a girl, it would be different.

– Lonely Mom

Dear Mom: Please tell your sons how you feel! Healthy communication can be such a gift. Please tell them what they can do to help you. That’s a gift, too.

They may have busy lives, but you’re a part of those lives as well.

Sometimes, in relationships, it’s hard to carry the burden of advocating for ourselves. But I believe that your sons would be saddened to find out that you had this ache and didn’t ask for help.

Try setting up a regular phone date with each of them, it will give you all something to look forward to. Plus, knowing that you’ll be chatting – and wanting to have something to chat about – might also give you an extra boost in your effort to find things that interest you.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.