Dear Eric: My daughter married a man who had two young children in a 50/50 custody relationship between him and his ex, their mother. My daughter was “in the role” of mother for half of their lives, but is identified by her first name only, never as “mom.” My dilemma is: Do I send a Happy Mother’s Day card to my daughter, or would that be out of line?

– Card Carrying

Dear Card: The mad geniuses who stock the greeting card aisle seem to have thought through every permutation of human relationships. (“Happy Flag Day to My Favorite Barista!” “My Condolences for the Death of the Orchid You Bought in a Grocery Store”.) Consider picking up one of the cards specifically addressed to stepmoms next Mother’s Day.

This question is also an opportunity for you to have an illuminating conversation with your daughter. Try asking something like “How does Mother’s Day feel to you? Do the kids reach out? Is there a way you wish it was different? Are there things about it that you’re surprised you enjoy?”

Her insights into her position may surprise you and I’m sure she’d be grateful to get your perspective on recognizing motherhood.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.