DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a surgeon who loves the symphony. Unfortunately, I work long hours, and sometimes show up at a performance after working 32 hours straight.

I recently went to the symphony…and kept falling asleep. At intermission, the woman next to me said, “How dare you come to the symphony and just fall asleep! That is so rude!”

Well, she definitely had a point, and I really felt bad about diminishing her enjoyment of the program. So I apologized profusely and added, “I’m sorry, I obviously need to do something about my work/life balance.” And then I left — but she followed me all the way out to my car, yelling at me! Um, which one of us is being rude?

I think we both were — me for falling asleep and diminishing her pleasure in the music. I get that, but if I apologized and then left, is there not somewhere we could find peace?

GENTLE READER: The difference here is that you were not trying to be rude, and when it was called to your attention, you found a solution. Your seat companion was deliberately being rude and ignoring your solution.

Miss Manners hopes this helps you rest a little easier. You clearly cannot afford to lose any more sleep.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.