Dear Readers: To mark my final week writing this column, I’m re-running some memorable Q&As.

October 2019

Dear Amy: We are planning a costume party at my workplace.

We all decided to dress up as people from an iconic TV show. However, two of my coworkers, who are light skinned, are going over the top to change their skin tone to match the darker-toned cast members of the show.

I personally do not feel comfortable with this. I think it is not only insulting, but very unprofessional.

I’m not sure how to get that across without being rude. My attempts at reconsideration have fallen on deaf ears. In their minds, it is clearly innocent and meant as a joke.

I personally do not see it as a joke, and I don’t want to be involved in a group photo with two people doing something I don’t agree with. What can I do?

– Insulted

Dear Insulted: Artificially changing the color of your skin in order to assume another person’s race as part of a costume is demeaning and racist – no matter who does it.

Iconic TV characters likely have many characteristics aside from the actor’s skin tone that your co-workers could use as part of their impersonation.

Given this rude, ill-considered, potentially career-ending behavior on the part of your co-workers, why are you worried about being rude?

You should say, “I get that you think this is lighthearted and funny, but I’m not comfortable with it. I think this is racist, and not cool or funny at all.”

Do not, under any circumstances, appear in a photo with these “jokers.”

Read more Ask Amy and other advice columns.

“Ask Amy” is coming to an end on June 30, 2024, after 21 years. You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.