DEAR MISS MANNERS: In casual conversations — as with librarians, cashiers or other people who are helping me, but whose names I do not know — I will say things like, “Yes, ma’am,” and “Thank you, sir.”

In situations where it is not easy to discern which form may be appropriate (or whether either would be welcome), I find myself simply saying, “Yes” or “Thank you.” This doesn’t feel polite, but I don’t want to address someone in an unwelcome way.

Does Miss Manners have a non-gender-specific form of address that shows respect without the risk of causing offense?

GENTLE READER: Didn’t there used to be an expression, “Sir or Madam, as the case may be”? How about reviving it, or coming up with something similar?

Maybe not. As long as you keep “please” and “thank you,” Miss Manners will let you skip the titles in cases of doubt.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.