Ask Amy: The rudeness of not sending a ‘thank you’

Dear Amy: We attended a wedding nine months ago and still have not received a thank you note for the generous gift we gave to the couple.

This was a traditional three-day weekend affair that required travel, multiple outfits and, of course, a very nice wedding gift.

The couple has offered multiple excuses for why they haven’t sent their thank yous (their wedding photos coming back, holiday cards, etc.) but … nothing.

Adding to their excuses, every Wednesday they post a “Wedding Wednesday” flashback to social media where they share pictures, stories, hints and tips about curating the perfect wedding … yet – no thank you!

We have received no email, no generic mass-market thank you on social media. Literally nothing.

The bride’s sister is getting married next year, and we are wondering if the same scenario is going to repeat itself!

Have times changed? Did I miss the memo?

– Feeling Confused

Dear Confused: The frustration of not being thanked properly is one of the most frequent problems readers present.

Times have indeed changed.

It is no longer necessary to sit down and write notes on creamy monogrammed stationery. Technology has made thanking people so much easier! Married couples can text people a personal thank-you video, write a thoughtful email, call, message, or send a postcard.

The couple you are referring to are particularly brazen. Sharing their “Wedding Wednesdays” rubs their guests’ noses in their rudeness.

I think that you should very politely call them out: “We love your ‘Wedding Wednesdays.’ Maybe you should host a ‘Thank you Thursday’ where you teach people how to curate the perfect ‘thank you’ moment!”

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“Ask Amy” is coming to an end on June 30, 2024, after 21 years. You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.