Dear Annie: Stuck in the middle of my son and my ex-daughter-in-law
Dear Annie: I’ve been reading more and more of your stories and enjoying them. But the one that really caught my eye is from “Heartbroken Nana,” the woman who wants to have a better relationship with her grandchildren.
I am a grandmother of soon-to-be 15 grandchildren, and I am in daily contact with four of them. I take them to school and pick them up, and one lives with me.
I don’t get to see four of my grandchildren because my son remarried and started a new family. The child who is living with me is one of my son’s from his first marriage, and he hasn’t seen his kids from that marriage in four years. I have daily contact with his first wife.
I feel so guilty. I’m totally stuck in the middle of my son and my ex-daughter-in-law and all these babies. I’ve tried making arrangements for everyone to see each other, but the mother of the one who lives with us doesn’t want him seeing or being around his father, and I support her decision.
But he has these other babies now, and I want to be part of their lives, too. — Anxiety-Ridden Broken Nanna of 15
Dear Anxiety-Ridden: The only thing you can control is your reaction to all that is going on. If your son is at a place where he can’t see his children, then try to help him get help so he can repair that relationship soon.
Perhaps you could suggest a family meeting with your son and his ex-wife, possibly with a neutral mediator, to discuss the possibility of reestablishing connections in a way that prioritizes the children’s well-being.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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