Dear Amy: My fiancée and I are getting married this fall. We are excited, our families are excited, and our planning is chaotic but coming together.

When I learn that someone is getting married, I always congratulate them, but I’ve never asked if I was going to be invited to the wedding.

This is weird, but we’ve had several people greet our news by asking, “Are you guys going to invite me to the wedding?”

Most of these people are in our more distant circle of friends and family and a couple of them are definitely not going to be invited.

We don’t really know how to respond.

Your thoughts?

– Groom to Be

Dear Groom: Splitting hairs a bit, but “Are you going to invite me” is slightly different from “Will you invite me?” At least these people aren’t outright asking to be invited.

At this point in your planning, you should respond: “We’re still in the planning stages and are wrestling with our numbers, but we’ll send out save-the-date notices next month.”

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.