Dear Annie: I am always playing second fiddle to my charismatic and charming friend

Dear Annie: I have a close friend who I love very much, but whenever we’re together, whether in social settings or professional environments, it feels like I’m always playing second fiddle to their charisma and charm.

I value our friendship and genuinely enjoy her company, but I just can’t help feeling overlooked and invisible at times. It’s disheartening. I feel totally unworthy of attention and recognition when I’m around her.

I’ve tried to tell her this, but she doesn’t seem to really get it. She just says, “What are you talking about?! People love you!” I don’t want this to jeopardize our friendship, but I find myself avoiding spending time with her because it just feels like I’m living in her shadow.

Is there a constructive way to address this? — Overshadowed

Dear Feeling Overshadowed: Navigating friendships can be challenging, especially when it feels like one person’s presence dominates the spotlight. It’s understandable that you’re seeking a more balanced dynamic.

Focus on nurturing your own self-confidence and sense of worth, independent of your friend’s actions. Celebrate your accomplishments and strengths, and seek out opportunities where you can shine on your own terms. You might not be the loudest person in the room, but I am sure that you shine in your own unique way — and you deserve to be recognized for it. Surround yourself with people who notice your strengths.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].