Dear Annie: My son moved out and now has ghosted me and I don’t know why

Dear Annie: My son moved out and now has ghosted me and I don’t know why

Dear Annie: I’m just heartbroken. My son moved out last year, and he never talked to me about anything before he moved. We were so close, and we always talked. But all of a sudden, he packed up and moved out with no explanation. He had met someone a year prior to that. I met her for a second, and that was it. I do know where he is living but he doesn’t know that I know. He has a new baby boy; I don’t even know his name, yet he is my grandson. I know that he has two stepdaughters, but I don’t know their names either.

I kept trying to call him but get no response. Now his phone is disconnected. I’m so lost and confused as well as upset. I miss him dearly.

He is my only child. He did a great job in school and had his own business after he graduated from high school. I am trying so hard to go on with my life, but it’s so hard not knowing how he is, or whether he is safe, healthy and happy. He was a very good kid, and now he’s a man. I just hope and pray that he will come around some day. — Mom Is Lost

Dear Mom Is Lost: That stinks, Mom. I really feel for you. Your son has cut off communication with you for now, but remind yourself that this will not be forever. When and if he comes around, the most important thing to do is not get mad at him for ghosting you the way he did but rather to welcome him in with open arms. Give him lots of love, and at some point, he will explain why he left the way he did.

He might have been torn between wanting to grow up and be his own man while not wanting to hurt you and leave you alone. So instead of doing the mature thing and explaining all that to you, that he was leaving the nest, he just flew away in order to avoid a conflict or to deal with your hurt feelings.

Dear Annie: The holidays are often a time of heightened emotions, expectations and anxiety. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 38% of people felt their stress levels increased during this season.

Due to shorter and darker days right now, United Disabilities Services (UDS) has found via research that older adults or shut-ins may have higher rates of the winter blues. To help, UDS has launched Wellness Calls to check in with them during these difficult times, especially around the holidays if there is no family around, to ensure recipients stay connected, are safe and are still able to live independently.

UDS suggests the following during the holidays to keep other family members safe:

— Check-In Calls: Make sure they are comfortable completing daily living activities such as taking their medications and eating properly. Also assess the mood for safety in the home.

— Conversational Calls: Have a more in-depth conversation about family, hobbies, current events and more for a sense of connection.

Some ways to combat this are to exercise regularly, not isolate yourself, find time for yourself, and keep your expectations realistic and reachable. — Protecting the Vulnerable

Dear Protecting the Vulnerable: Thank you for this information. I hope it helps anyone who felt lonely during the holidays and into the winter months.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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