Dear Amy: My wife and I have three teenage children. They are good kids and all are doing well in school.

The issue I have concerns my idea to reward the kids by letting them have a couple of extra days off of school before spring break because we were planning to fly to a resort and our flight leaves at a very early hour on Saturday. I thought it would be good for them to rest up on Thursday and prepare for the trip on Friday.

I told the kids about this idea and they were totally on board.

My wife has now totally dug in about this. She is someone who doesn’t believe in taking breaks from school unless they are sick, and she is very strict about this.

She is mad at me and I’m not sure what to do.

– Upset Dad

Dear Dad: This is the sort of decision that parents should make together.

In addition to emphasizing the important parenting choice to act as a team, I assume that if you had discussed this with her beforehand, your wife would have convinced you that kids don’t really need “a break” from school immediately before a scheduled 10-day-long break spent at a resort.

What you describe as “dug in,” I would describe as consistent and stable parenting which emphasizes education, while also demonstrating pro-social values about keeping your commitments.

While they are in high school, you shouldn’t offer time off as a “reward” for doing well in school. Doing well is the reward for their hard work.

I think you owe her an apology for making an important parenting choice without discussing it with her.

Your reward is that you get to tell the kids that they are going to finish out their scheduled school week before going on vacation.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.