Dear Amy: Our daughter recently got engaged to a smart and responsible young man.

We’re thrilled, except for one thing: we have nothing in common with his parents.

Their background is completely different from mine and my husband’s.

They don’t speak English fluently enough, nor do we speak their language fluently enough, to have a conversation to get to know them better.

I’m anticipating several family events over the next year when we’ll have to mix and socialize.

Please help me figure out how to negotiate these events and become a good in-law to my daughter’s future parents-in-law.

– Really Grasping

Dear Grasping: I have good news for you.

The way to be a good in-law is the same way to be a good person: to be patient, welcoming, friendly, and kind.

You should ask your future son-in-law for suggestions of ways you can get to know his parents better. What are their interests, hobbies, favorite foods?

Invite them to visit your home with the engaged couple so you can get to know them a little better in a small group in advance of the wedding, with the son on hand to help translate.

If you extend yourself warmly in friendship, they will likely appreciate it, even if they might struggle to communicate.

When it comes to larger events, make sure to introduce them to other extended family members and wedding guests.

If you don’t hit it off with them, also understand that many in-laws don’t actually get to know one another that well or choose to spend time together, aside from mutually participating in wedding events.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.