Dear Amy: I have been with my 43-year-old boyfriend for two years.

He works two jobs, so we have zero time together during the week (we are both teachers).

On weekends, he goes to his mother’s house at around 5 p.m. and stays until 2 a.m. playing video games with his 13-year-old nephew. I have a 10-year-old son who my boyfriend enjoys being with, and my son also enjoys spending time with the nephew sometimes. But this past weekend, my boyfriend went to his mom’s on both Friday and Saturday nights.

I have had problems with pregnancy and do not want to have another child, but my boyfriend says that he does.

He says that I don’t get to say anything about his time with his nephew since I am unwilling to have a child with him.

It’s not the time, it’s the vast lack of balance that bothers me.

I do go to sleep earlier than he does, so why not go to his mother’s at 9 p m instead of 5 p m , since his nephew stays up late?

Am I wasting my time with a man who doesn’t want to prioritize me?

– Torn

Dear Torn: Yes, the way you are currently spending your time (resenting your boyfriend for his choices and sitting at home while he goes out on the weekends) is a waste.

Your boyfriend does not want to hang out with you. (If he did, he would.)

The way you describe the situation, the way he chooses to spend his free time, as well as the way you frame his response to you, makes him sound like an adolescent who is acting out. His evident motivation and justification for being disrespectful toward you is because he doesn’t like your response to the most serious question a couple can face, which is whether to have a child.

Aside from the fact that he doesn’t seem to enjoy your company during his free time, he doesn’t sound mature enough to be a father.

Fortunately, his maturity level, or his willingness to be a real “family man” will be another woman’s problem – once you finally figure out that this is not a healthy relationship for you and your son to be in because of your disparate interests, values, and plans for the future.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.