Dear Annie: My siblings are passive-aggressive, how do I maintain a relationship?

Dear Annie: How do I deal with passive-aggressive siblings? When we are together, it can be all laughter and giggles, and the next minute all I hear are snarky comments. It took months to find out one sibling had purchased a new and expensive car. Then the talk was how to sell the old reliable model without asking my opinion. We all have social media accounts, though I have yet to see any of them post on my page. I have hobbies, and they do not; we all do volunteer work, yet there is seldom a conversation about it. I am reluctant to reach out fearing I might catch one of them on an “aggressive” day and be shut out. If I ask for household repair help, I am looked on as weak or ignored altogether. We are getting older, and I am at my wits’ end at trying to have a healthy relationship.

How do I reconnect with my siblings? — Torn

Dear Torn: Now that you know the pattern of their behavior, you know what to expect. When you are having good times with your siblings, focus on feeling grateful for the good times. At the same time, manage your expectations of them, and know that the aggressive parts will come. While things are good between you and your siblings, you can also let them know how much you are enjoying your time with them and how much you dislike the aggressive times. Communication and gratitude and good expectation management are three ingredients to happy and healthy relationships.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].