DEAR ABBY: I overheard my adult child speak to his significant other in a way I have heard only one other time. My child was not raised that way. My spouse and our children lived in what I thought was a traditional upbringing. I was shocked the first time and calmly expressed that speaking to another person with those words was disrespectful. I chalked it up to being young and not being mindful of other people’s feelings.

Once again, although I was not attempting to eavesdrop, I heard the same language. I expressed that I was disappointed, embarrassed and ashamed of that language directed at another person. I suggested therapy to deal with this, but it scares me to think I don’t know my own child and they are capable of such behavior. Is it possible I raised a Jekyll and Hyde or a young adult with no sense of pride or manners? — NOT MY CHILD

DEAR NOT MY CHILD: It is possible that you raised an adult child who has trouble controlling their temper and forgets that vulgarity and disrespect lessen the target’s respect for the invective-thrower. Therapy might help if your child is open to it, but having suggested it, the time has come for you to step out of this unfortunate scenario. (The exception would be if you are afraid the verbal abuse could escalate.)

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.