Dear Annie: My brother cut me out of his life, and it hurts so much

Dear Annie: I am the middle child of a family that once was very close. We are all grown up now, and our parents have passed away. There were two girls and three boys in the family, and our ages range from 45 to 69.

I believe it is up to us to keep our family together, but I’m having a lot of trouble with my youngest brother.

One time recently, he stayed over at my house and slept on the pullout couch rather than in the bedroom because my son was visiting at the time — staying with his children — and they had the spare room. My brother complained that I treat my grandkids better than his children.

That was the reasoning he gave me. So I am no longer invited to anything the girls are in, including birthdays and Christmas parties at his house, but everyone else is. This is driving me crazy. I email him and ask to talk, but he doesn’t answer my calls. He lives three hours away. I don’t want to give up, but I just don’t know how to handle this. It hurts so much. — Disappointed Sibling

Dear Sibling: Your brother is being unreasonable, but he feels wounded and protective of his own children. Start by telling him how much you love and care for him and his children. But if he remains cold and aloof, remind yourself that we can’t always get people to behave like we want them to, but we can control how we react to their actions. So continue to fill your cup with friends and family, including your other siblings, who make you feel good about yourself.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].