Casagrande: The dumbest thing you’ll read this week

Casagrande: The dumbest thing you’ll read this week

This is an opinion column.

Before this week, you’ve likely never heard of Georgia resident Colton Moore or Florida’s Ashley Moody.

No shame in that.

They’re just attention-seeking politicians in an intellectual race to Dr. Pepper’s Fansville.

They think you’re stupid. Gullible at best.

Again, they’re politicians. Bless their hearts and pray for ours.

The saving grace for those of us in Alabama is we have political figures who know something about football disappointment without involving the three branches of government.

Moore and Moody probably aren’t that dumb either.

Yet here we are, almost two weeks after the College Football Playoff didn’t give either of their teams a trophy, grandstanding in the most 2023 way possible. They want their voters to think they’re fighting the power while actually shouting into the abyss.

First came Moody.

She’s the attorney general of our appendage to the south who on Tuesday announced the launch of an investigation into the College Football Playoff. In true Fansville fashion, she noted the fact she’s a Florida Gator who can’t sleep with the injustice done to their biggest rival.

Florida State, as you know, wasn’t selected among the four teams who’ll compete for the last national title before the playoff field expands to 12. As I’ve noted in the past, their anger is justifiable even if the selection committee got the right four for semifinal games.

Moody, at least politically, disagrees. She used all the big words and rattled the saber.

“As it stands,” Moody said in a social media video filmed outside FSU’s Doak Campbell Stadium, “the Committee’s decision reeks of partiality, so we are demanding answers — not only for FSU, but for all schools, teams and fans of college football. In Florida, merit matters. If it’s attention they were looking for, the committee certainly has our attention now.”

Try not to laugh at that last sentence.

I’ll wait.

Well, if that’s not pathetic enough, buckle up for Moore in Georgia. The state senator and self-proclaimed RINO hunter found a new target Thursday, penning a nonsensical letter to selection committee chair Boo Corrigan and the rest of the committee. This wasn’t just any letter. It was the kind that had a bold headline in between the two places he addressed the recipients.

“Appeal to the CFP Committee to Include The Orange Bowl in the College Football Playoff,” it read, spoiling the grand finale.

He opened the letter by stating this is among the few subject matters that can unite the people of Florida and Georgia along with obviously rolling the windows down to cruise.

It went on to cite the 29-game winning streak snapped Dec. 2 by Alabama in the SEC title game. The Bulldogs’ No. 4 ranking ESPN’s Football Power Index was another reference before alleging the exclusion of the two-time defending national champion was a “grave error” that “Georgians may have to live with for generations to come.”

Seriously, read the whole thing.

He suggests there are more than one “federal lawsuits brewing” over the committee’s verdict while offering the chef’s kiss of stupidity in the final paragraph.

“In light of the CPF expansion in the 2024 season and as a remedy to avoid massive liabilities, People of Georgia request you allow The Orange Bowl to be activated as a College Football Playoff game and therefore delay the National Championship by one week or otherwise make accommodations.”

That’s how it ends.

Just invent a third semifinal to feed into a two-team national championship game that can be delayed a week or so to figure out how to make 1+1+1=2.

Just find enough semifinals to make it work for Georgia, essentially.

The laughable nature of the letter makes more sense when considering Moore was suspended by his own Georgia Senate’s Republican Caucus back in September.

“During his advocacy for his ill-conceived proposal,” members of his own party wrote when announcing the timeout, “Sen. Moore has knowingly misled people across Georgia and our nation, causing unnecessary tension and hostility.”

His own teammates call him a liar.

Corrigan and Co. can rest easy if this is the biggest threat to … a playoff structure that’s already evolving in a way that would satisfy both Moore and his southern neighbor, Moody.

Of course, they don’t really care.

They just want the cheap publicity that news outlets uncritically and eagerly hand over.

But we don’t play that game over here.

Our readers who finish the columns won’t be hoodwinked by these pandering political performers!

They’re just a little dumber for having read these hollow words in this week’s trip down the gopher hole of unserious politicians using sports to hook the next sucker.

Michael Casagrande is a reporter for the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter @ByCasagrande or on Facebook.