Dear Amy: I’m a woman in my mid-20′s and I’ve been with my boyfriend since high school. I fell in love with him in ninth grade and (honestly) pursued him for a couple of years until I let him catch me (ha ha).

I’ve always been quite large and overweight, and my weight is a huge issue for him.

He only showed an interest in dating me after I had lost a considerable amount of weight in high school.

I’ve mainly kept this weight off, but it has been a struggle. I’m down to a size 8.

We are talking about marriage, but he says he will only propose to me if I lose a little more weight.

Several of my female family members are overweight, and he says that if I wind up looking like them, he wouldn’t want to stay in the relationship.

We are super-compatible in every other way. I guess I need a gut check (ha ha) about my relationship. He’s the only guy I’ve ever loved.

– Wondering Woman

Dear Wondering: It is a lifelong struggle to tackle an eating disorder.

In this case, I’d say that your guy is the one with the disorder.

His obsession with weight doesn’t leave a lot of room for a person’s humanity and vulnerability to emerge.

I’d suggest that he could use professional help to cope with his obsession.

And now my advice to you: Lace up your sneakers and run. Think of all the calories you will expend as you jog away from this controlling jerk.

I assume that your friends and family members have expressed concern about this relationship. Listen to them, and to me.

Liberation is around the corner.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.