Dear Annie: My daughter got the help she needed, maybe others can too

Dear Annie: The letter from “Shepherd With a Lost Sheep,” who feels that his adult daughter is not making good life decisions, reminded me of my own daughter, “Jane.” Jane easily graduated with honors from college, but like “Shepherd’s” daughter, she has never been employed in her educational field and worked only at fairly menial jobs. In addition, she has been divorced twice and had several questionable live-in relationships.

What I didn’t know for many years, and what “Shepherd” may not realize about his daughter, is that Jane had a mental illness. She was able to function marginally OK for daily life, but she could not make the best life decisions.

Even though she took the initiative to see numerous mental health counselors, and did her own exhaustive self-study, it wasn’t until 25 years after college that her mental illness finally reached a crisis that resulted in getting the help she needed. I recommend “Shepherd” contact his local affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, which has exceptional programs for the loved ones of persons with mental illness.

NAMI and my counselor have helped me to understand and cope with Jane’s illness and how to properly assist in ensuring she gets the help she needs. I now accept that Jane is doing the best she can, and we maintain a wonderful relationship. I wish the same for “Shepherd.” — Dad at Peace

Dear Dad at Peace: Thank you very much for your letter. I am delighted that you are able to maintain a wonderful relationship with your daughter. So much of having a good relationship with others stems from understanding where they are coming from or what they are going through. I have a feeling your letter will help many readers.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].