Dear Amy: I am in my 40s and a single adoptive mother of two girls.

Many years ago, I met “Jeremy” on an internet dating site. While I wasn’t romantically attracted to him, we became friends.

From our first meeting, Jeremy made it very clear that he wanted more than friendship from me.

I was honest in stating that I viewed him as a platonic friend and that it wouldn’t go any further than that.

We have remained in touch over the course of 11 years (with the exception of a very brief marriage of his).

He has become a dear friend. We laugh and commiserate.

I’m open to dating if someone compatible were to come along, but my daughters come first. I like being single.

Jeremy continuously makes not-so-subtle hints that he would like us to be more than friends.

I’ve never led him on and have reiterated that we are friends.

We have some common interests, and we are both good people, but there are major differences, and frankly I’m not attracted to him.

Friends and family members have suggested that I’m crazy not to date him, but I just don’t see him that way.

Am I hurting him by remaining in his life if he is always going to harbor hope that I will grow to view him as a romantic partner?

Why is friendship so completely underrated by our society?

– A Friend Indeed

Dear Friend: I don’t necessarily concur that friendship is underrated – in fact, I think that we in this country are currently experiencing something of an epidemic of loneliness. Most people crave and value having a special and intimate friendship connection. True and lasting friendships are worth their weight in gold.

You seem worried that you will hurt “Jeremy” by maintaining a friendship instead of transitioning into a romance.

But I think he is undermining the friendship by continuing to indicate that he wants to be romantically involved with you. A friendship should more or less remain in balance, with both parties respecting boundaries.

Respond to his next not-so-subtle hint by saying – out loud – “That’s never going to happen; furthermore, this makes me uncomfortable. If you really believe you can’t be friends with me without exerting this pressure, then maybe we should rethink our friendship.”

It would help for you to think about how you would respond if one of your daughters reported a similar dynamic with a friend. Would you advise her to keep quiet about her own needs?

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.