DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for almost 43 years. We haven’t had sex in more than 10 years. He is a nasty drunk, which has grown worse. He is emotionally abusive and calls me lazy and fat.

He hurt his right shoulder three years ago and refused to seek medical attention for it. Two years ago, he had all his teeth extracted. Since then, he has lost at least 50 pounds, which, unfortunately, I seem to have gained. He drinks until he’s falling-down drunk at least twice a week, and he then becomes nasty with me and our daughter. What should I do? — HOPELESS IN TEXAS

DEAR HOPELESS: The relationship you have with your husband isn’t a healthy one. Start getting yourself in better physical shape. Once you begin to take care of yourself, the better you will feel physically and emotionally. Begin attending Al-Anon meetings. There are many in almost every community. You can find a location at al-anon.org/info. Al-Anon is an offshoot of AA, and was created to provide support for friends and families of alcoholics. (Your husband qualifies.) After that, start looking for a job so you can gain some independence and eventually leave him completely. The atmosphere you have described is toxic.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.