Dear Amy: A few years ago, I offered to make a T-shirt quilt as a graduation gift for a co-worker’s oldest son.

She purchased the materials, and I provided the skill and labor.

She and her son were thrilled with the quilt, and she mentioned that I would have two more to go down the road for her other two sons as they graduated.

I was taken aback with this expectation, but didn’t say anything.

I retired soon after and had minimal contact with her.

A year later, however, when her middle child was graduating, she contacted me to ask if I would make the same type of T-shirt quilt for this son, which I did.

I haven’t had any contact with her since that son’s graduation.

Now two years later, her last child will be graduating this upcoming spring and I am anticipating that she will contact me and expect me to make him a quilt.

Even if I was an invited guest to his graduation (unlikely), I would gladly give him a reasonable monetary gift instead of providing hours of labor on a quilt, which equates into a generous gift for someone I don’t have a relationship with.

I want your advice on how to kindly tell her that I don’t intend to offer my handiwork, if asked.

– Tired of the Ts

Dear Tired: Mastering the power of saying “no” can be life-altering.

A polite “no” is brief, neutral, and does not offer a list of reasons, which might come off as excuses, or, worse – invite further inquiry and conversation.

Should this issue surface again, my suggestion for you is to respond: “I’m no longer able to do this, but congratulations on your son’s graduation. Hello empty nest!”

If you’d care to, you could suggest the name of another person in the quilting community who might be interested in taking on this task.

Once your former co-worker sees how much she would be charged for this custom quilt, she might value even more the time and talent you invested in creating these treasures.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.