Dear Amy: My father passed away several years ago, leaving his house to my sister and me.

Since she wanted to live in the house, we agreed that she would eventually buy out my half (she couldn’t afford to do this at the time).

Now it is eight years later, and she is still living in the house.

Whenever I bring up the subject, I get a “deer in the headlights” look and I feel she will cry, so I let it drop.

Now that my husband and I want to retire, I will need my half of this inheritance.

My father’s lawyer has passed away and I don’t have a lawyer.

If I do in fact have to take some type of legal action, I wouldn’t know where to start.

What should I do?

– Ready for the Next Chapter

Dear Ready: If your sister couldn’t afford to buy you out of this property eight years ago, have her circumstances changed significantly now? You should assume not, which is why she doesn’t want to discuss it.

Your first step should be to find a new attorney to advise you about the terms of this estate and your options, now. You must have competent legal advice.

Your own fears about upsetting your sister have kept both of you somewhat trapped. She likely lives with her own fear of displacement hanging over her head.

You simply must be brave enough to face this. Think of this as a problem you two will solve, together. If she becomes upset, stay calm, hang in there with her, and keep the door open.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.