DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a neighbor in the apartment directly below mine who, during the 20 years I have lived here, has regularly complained about the various noises they hear from my apartment. Not once has X ever said anything to me that wasn’t a criticism about The Noise.

Do I have a pet? Do I exercise? Is there some machinery I am running?

No, to all of these. I am sure any noise isn’t from me: My apartment is fully carpeted, I remove my shoes when I come home, and I am scrupulous about playing TV and music at an appropriate level.

Still, I apologize and gently point out that in a large building such as ours, sometimes it is difficult to pinpoint the exact source of a sound. But it doesn’t seem to get through.

I dread running into this person. Can you suggest a reply that might better satisfy them?

GENTLE READER: After 20 years, you must know that your neighbor is oblivious to subtlety. Fortunately, you can make your point more clearly without being impolite.

“I’m so sorry there are noises bothering you,” you can say. “I can’t see how they could be coming from me, as my home is fully carpeted (etc.). Would it be worth checking if the noise is from an air vent or something similar? Is there anything I can do to help you locate the source?”

Miss Manners will understand if you omit the final offer in all the din.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.