Dear Annie: My husbandâs sonâs wife doesnât like my grandsons

Dear Annie: My husband and I have children from previous relationships, and we each have two grandsons. We have shared a plot of land on the river with his son and family, and my grandsons would visit from time to time.

My husband’s son’s wife doesn’t like my grandsons. In fact, she once made a comment in front of one of them asking why he was there. She then asked if it was going to be every (insert swear word) Friday night that she had to hang out with him and his brother.

My husband took offense and asked his son what he was going to do about it, and he told his father to chill. My husband made the decision to throw them off the lot because his daughter-in-law had no intention of apologizing, and her behavior got even worse over the next few weeks.

My stepson and his wife are no longer talking to us and feel that we chose my grandson over their children. We sent a birthday card to their son and they returned it to us and told us we were trying to buy his affection. I’m appalled that they feel we have to choose one side or the other. My grandsons deserve an apology. I am really not sure what to do. — Family Drama

Dear Family Drama: Give this one time. What your stepson’s wife said to your grandsons was cruel, and your husband was right to stick up for them. Whenever you have a guest in your house, it is incredibly rude and hurtful to make them feel unwelcome.

Now, what is going on between your stepson’s wife and your grandsons? It might be worth having a separate conversation with them to find out why she is so offended with the boys being there. Constructive communication is the key to resolving this situation. If the wife says she just doesn’t like kids or something similar, then maybe you plan for times to get together at events where kids are not around. It’s all about listening to the other person’s side of the story while establishing the correct boundaries that you and your husband did — by asking them to leave when they were rude.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].