Dear Annie: Iâm engaged but not sure I can stop cheating

Dear Annie: I’ve been cheating on my girlfriend for some time now. Despite that, I’ve agreed to marry her.

I didn’t actually propose to her, but she’s so excited about us living together that she kind of proposed to me, and we’re getting married in December. The thing is, I really like her. I love her, actually, but there are five different girls who have a crush on me, and I always go out with them when my girl is busy or at work.

So, I can’t seem to know how to stop cheating because it feels so good to be with the other girls. But I know that the girl I am with is a great woman and that’s what every guy needs. I really want to be with her and eventually marry her. How do you think I should deal with the situation? — Confused John

Dear Confused John: The best way to deal with this situation is through honesty. You are clearly not ready to settle down and marry right now. It is going to be a very painful conversation for both of you, but it will save a great deal of long-term pain as you figure out what you really want. You have to set her free and not be a pig who has his cake and eats it, too. That will catch up with you in the worst way possible. If you are both truly meant to be together, then you need to grow up and be ready for the commitment of marriage, and she needs to have the freedom and knowledge to decide if she wants to be with you — the real you!

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].