DEAR ABBY: I have a longtime friend who is the queen of the hypochondriacs. She is always sick or complaining that something is wrong with her, but she does nothing to improve her health. She has gone to holistic doctors for years, to no avail.

I suggested it’s time for her to consult regular doctors, since holistic ones weren’t helping and because she doesn’t follow their advice anyway. She has made appointments with regular doctors but has too much anxiety to go.

She has been excluded from activities with friends because she’s always sick, but doesn’t understand why she has only one friend. She also talks incessantly about her abusive, narcissistic mother, but doesn’t realize she is a bit narcissistic herself. Should I tell her what I think about her or just keep it to myself? — PEEVED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PEEVED: If she is hesitant to see a doctor who might actually get to the cause of her problems, it’s probably because she’s afraid of what she might hear. Of course, people who procrastinate for years are more likely to get bad news than those who are determined to nip any problem in the bud.

If you can suppress your annoyance, instead of calling her something unpleasant, it would be more helpful to point out that hiding one’s head in the sand is not an answer, and volunteer to go with her to her appointment. That’s what a true friend does.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.