Dear Annie: I feel like my daughter-in-law singled me out by making me pay for my own dinner

Dear Annie: After more than 30 years, the love of my life and I have finally reunited. Only now we have adult children who sometimes make things a little more complicated. I have tried very hard to keep things flowing as far as his relationship with his daughters goes, providing opportunities, time, space and my own money to make sure he spends special occasions with them.

This past weekend, his daughter invited us over to see her new place and celebrate my husband’s birthday. So I filled the tank in the car, which is sorely needing repairs, and we drove an hour and a half to his daughter’s house and then to the restaurant. Upon ordering, his daughter announced to the waitress that they would only be paying for their meals (her, her fiance and her dad), and my meal would be on a separate check.

My partner and I awkwardly laughed it off at the restaurant, but I was left feeling like I was punched in the stomach. I was fine to pay for my own dinner, but she and her fiance are in their mid-20s and have great jobs, so I feel like there was more at play here than them simply being cheap. I would love your opinion on this. — Stuck With the Check

Dear Stuck: Well, she certainly loses points for etiquette. Singling you out to pay for your own meal, after you made the effort to come see her new place and celebrate with the family, is undeniably rude behavior.

It’s great that you support your husband’s relationships with his children. Despite the difficulties you’re facing, it’s important that you continue to do so. Ask your husband if his daughter has any reason to be upset with you, or if he has any theories as to why she might be having a hard time accepting you into her family. Without more context, it’s hard to know why she is acting this way — but it does seem to extend beyond basic table manners.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].