Dear Annie: I have two children and five grandchildren, and I have just recently retired. We all currently live in Minnesota, but I’m considering moving somewhere warm for the winter months and just coming back for the summer and fall.

My issue is that, in doing this, I would not be here for two of the five grandkids’ birthdays most years. I’ve been getting pushback from my children, asking how I could attend birthdays for three of the grandkids but not for the other two. Their birthdays are right in the middle of my proposed time in my Florida home.

I’ve been feeling very guilty in just considering this and wanted to know if I’m being selfish for being gone for these two birthdays or if I’ve earned my time away. I do love my kids and grandkids very much, but I also want to enjoy my senior years, and that means being somewhere that is warm in the winter months. — Guilty Grandma

Dear Guilty Grandma: You’re not wrong for wanting to pursue a retirement you’ve dreamt of and worked hard to get. It is heartwarming that your grandchildren love you so much and want you to be part of their birthday festivities. However, you must also honor your wants and needs.

Once you are settled in your Florida home, see what is feasible in terms of short-term visits back to Minnesota. Maybe it’s possible to go for a few long weekends or for your children to bring the kiddos and escape the cold with you in the Sunshine State. It may take some time to get used to a new normal, but I hope your family will be supportive of this life change that you absolutely deserve.

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