DEAR ABBY: I buy pet food from a small local pet shop. (The store does not sell animals, only food and supplies. I support adoption.) I’m a regular customer and have been on a first-name basis with the owner, “Alicia,” for several years.

When I went to buy my dog’s food the other day, she was wearing a scarf to cover her head. She has always had shoulder-length hair. It was obvious that she’s ill. (I suspect breast cancer.) I didn’t know what to do. I hoped my face did not give me away. I just proceeded as I normally do — made small talk and completed my purchase.

The next time I go there, should I continue to act like I don’t notice? Should I ask Alicia if she’s ill? I felt uncomfortable pretending not to notice. However, I feel it would be intrusive to say something. Please advise. — ANIMAL LOVER IN FLORIDA

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: If Alicia wants to discuss her medical condition with you, she will allude to it. If she does, listen to her and offer a supportive comment. Many people seem unable to restrain themselves from asking inappropriate questions, however well-intentioned. Among them are likely some of her other customers. Don’t be one of them.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.