DEAR ABBY: I have a lovely goddaughter I’m estranged from. Although I had promised her she would be maid of honor at my wedding in 2015 (my second marriage), I didn’t do it.

My fiance was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease, so we decided instead to have a commitment ceremony. I felt bad but didn’t contact her right away to explain I wouldn’t have any attendants after all.

It’s a blur now, but I think I emailed her or asked her mother (my dear friend) to tell her. My friend denies that her daughter is angry, but my goddaughter hasn’t spoken to me since 2015.

She is now engaged. I’d like to write her a letter, but I don’t know what to say. I was thinking of mailing it without telling my friend because, as I said, she still denies anything is wrong. I found the address on the internet. What do you think? I’m heartbroken knowing I cannot celebrate her upcoming wedding. — SADDENED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SADDENED: If you feel the need to write your goddaughter a letter explaining the legitimate reason you and your husband decided to forgo a formal wedding with attendants, do it. Your reason for changing your plans was a valid one.

Although I’m sure things were hectic at the time you made that decision, it would have been better had you explained directly to her the reason for your abrupt change of plans.

Because this is weighing on your mind, apologize for the delay in contacting her, tell her you were delighted when you heard about her forthcoming wedding, and you would love to celebrate it with her. Then cross your fingers because the ball is in her court.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.