DEAR ABBY: My husband has a friend I’ll call “Penny.” They have known each other for decades and are very close. Penny is married to a wonderful man.

Recently, Penny got in touch with her high school prom date, “Gary,” and they had lunch. Things got steamy, but they stopped before doing anything too physical. In need of counsel, Penny told my husband all the details. Now, out of the blue, we have received a birthday party invitation for Gary to be held at Penny’s home.

My husband and I feel uncomfortable meeting him for the first time in this way because we are good friends with Penny’s husband.

Should we go to the party and play dumb, or send our regrets, as we have no desire to meet this man at all? — PARTY POOPER IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR PARTY POOPER: No rule of etiquette decrees that you must accept every invitation you receive. If you would feel uncomfortable at the party, send your regrets.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.