DEAR ABBY: I have read many letters to you about poor relationships with siblings, and I have some advice of my own. You do not HAVE to like them!

After many years of trying to fit in to a dysfunctional family, I finally realized, and made peace with the realization, that I do not like these people. I have different values and have worked hard to acquire a great education. This is looked down on by my siblings, who have a very narrow worldview.

Their M.O. is to be friendly for a short time while denigrating another sibling. That changes overnight; the target person is now their best friend, and the other one is shunned. Realizing it is not necessary to like someone because we share the same bloodline has been liberating. I found peace by just letting them go. — GOT WISE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GOT WISE: Unfortunately, not all family relationships are healthy ones. If someone is manipulative or abusive, it is better to step back rather than tolerate it. I’m glad you had your epiphany and found peace. Not everyone recognizes what you did as quickly as you, and they have suffered for it. Your letter illustrates why many of them have formed a supportive chosen family.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.