âThe Bacheloretteâ through the eyes of a sports editor: Charity Lawson episode 1
I have been in the sports media business for nearly 18 years, “The Bachelor”/”Bachelorette” franchise has been in existence for 21 years. So, it was only a matter of time before our paths would eventually cross.
No, I am not the next “Bachelor,” nor am I one of 25 lucky (?) men who may get a shot at landing my future wife in front of a worldwide television audience. No, I am using this season, the 20th season of “The Bachelorette” to watch it for the first time and offer weekly analysis as a first-time viewer.
The only time I’ve seen commercials for the show is when commercials would come on during college football games on ABC. The only things I know about the show are Trista and Ryan (I hope they’re still together) and former Florida QB, Jesse Palmer. So, I’m coming at this with very fresh eyes.
For my money, the greatest dating show of all-time is “Flavor of Love,” elite programing that needs to be seen for generations. And what from what I’ve seen, “The Bachelor”/”Bachelorette” are a bit more refined than seeing Flavor Flav search for his “true love.”
One reason why “The Bachelorette” is interesting this season is because there are not just one, but two Auburn connections. The bachelorette herself, Auburn alum Charity Lawson, and former Auburn football player Kaleb Kim.
Episode One highlights:
— Charity is clearly the typical “All-American” girl so it makes sense that she returns following her time on “The Bachelor.”
— Does everybody have this much anxiety at the beginning of the season where the bachelorette/bachelor meets the lucky contestants? Or is it just me?
— These introductions are so corny, good lord. We’ve got one guy flipping a coin, and another guy asking her to feel his heartbeat. Give me a break.
— OK, so three guys in and this is the theme for all of that stuff? Wow, OK then. I’ve gotta figure out what my opening line would be…“Hi Charity, I can’t do a backflip, but I won my fantasy football league last season. Please be mine!”
— Then we’ve got Brayden, who makes his intro to Charity with “shots of love”, the man can’t even take a tequila shot properly. Yeah, he’s not gonna last long on this show.
— Spencer, way too cringe buddy. Next!
— A professional wrestler is a contestant, and he is looking for “authentic” love. Because he can’t find that in his current occupation.
— One of the contestants has my favorite line of the night, “Real women don’t remember pick-up lines”. Probably because most of these have been pretty lame.
— That was nice of Charity’s brother Nehemiah to show up. Him in a Lionel Ritchie wig and Tom Selleck mustache? Not so much, but I totally get why.
— Shoutout to James for letting the country know about apple cider donuts! A Midwest treat!
— Wow, Xavier going in for an emphatic kiss on the first night knowing Charity. Well then.
— And almost on cue, Charity’s brother is instantly regretting being a spy. Why? Because everybody was talking about wanted to kiss his sister. Buddy, you could’ve been at home playing video games.
— This Michael fellow? Yeah, he’s not lasting long.
— Same with Spencer, he’s not gonna last long either.
— Aaron B. is out here with the keyboard? Yeah, I wouldn’t last long on this show. Clearly, a gimmick was required.
— Nehemiah’s reveal to the guys was fantastic, you could see some instant regret on their faces. It was perfect!
— Brayden is in the running for the “villain” this season, it looks like. An even bigger shocker, he got the “first impression” rose! Wow.
— The look of everybody’s face once they saw Brayden with the rose, hilarious!
Three up: Who had a good week on the show
— Jeremy: Despite his complaints about too many tall people to contend with, I thought his genuine personality stuck out in a really positive way during his one-on-one session with Charity. No gimmicks, no frills, just being himself.
— James: At first, I was a bit nervous that James’ mom dropping that note into the box was going to go bad, but once again it was a genuine thought and effort that clearly impressed Charity. I’ve got a feeling he’s going to stick around for a while, for mom’s sake.
— Aaron B.: I mean, the man busted out the keyboard and knocked out a halfway decent poem. Look, I think the gimmicks are a joke but if you’re gonna go all out, then go all out!
Final thoughts
This series clearly has a formula that most longtime viewers understand and know, as for me being a novice, I am interested to see how this season will progress. It may take time for me to pick out some favorites, but I guess that’s why they play the game. Or, hand out the roses…or go on the dates? I’ll figure it out!
Andrew Hammond is the sports editor for AL.com. He has never watched “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette” in his life. Until now.