This is an opinion column.

A publisher I respect recently asked me a simple question, “Why are conservatives so upset and politically animated about transgender issues?” Attitudes across the political spectrum towards lesbian and gay individuals have undoubtedly become more accepting in recent years. At the same time, Republicans in a number of states have enacted legislation that directly impacts transgender Americans. Rather than giving into the heated rhetoric swirling around such laws, we should engage them thoughtfully.

Transgender individuals were created by God with immeasurable individual dignity and worth. Emotions run high in politics, and it’s easy to lose sight of such a basic truth because of our disagreements. Transgender individuals also represent an unbelievably small minority in the United States. According to a study by the Williams Institute at UCLA’s School of Law, transgender individuals compose roughly 0.6% of the U.S. population aged 13 and older. Because there are so few transgender Americans, it’s both likely and probable that most Americans don’t have a personal relationship with someone who is transgender.

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I have one long-time family friend who I know is transgender, and he’s a conservative Trump supporter. It’s a great reminder that sexual orientation and gender alignment aren’t politically dispositive. Behaving as if LGBTQ+ is an ideological monolith is as benighted a view as suggesting that all Black Americans think the same way.

Sexualizing children is wrong and developmentally harmful. Our society is off the rails here. The average age of exposure to hardcore pornography is 13. Parents are having conversations about sex with their children at increasingly early ages, but focusing on sexuality as a direct educational matter prior to puberty isn’t wise. Even as puberty begins, sex education should be age-appropriate and taught in concert and communication with parents.

Two types of laws regularly characterized as “anti-trans” stem from these concerns.

Alabama’s Vulnerable Child Compassion and Protection Act prohibits gender-altering medication or procedures for minors seeking to affirm an alternate gender identity. Many states have enacted or are considering similar laws.

Lawmakers crafting such laws are concerned that children don’t have the ability to give informed consent for medical care that will impact them for the rest of their lives. Because of the rarity gender-altering medical care for children, America doesn’t have long-term research to credibly inform individuals about the impacts of such decisions.

A 2022 Reuters investigation, for example, noted “no large-scale studies have tracked people who received gender-related medical care as children to determine how many remained satisfied with their treatment as they aged and how many eventually regretted transitioning.”

The second type of law bans drag shows which appeal to a prurient interest from the view of minors. Tennessee recently enacted such a law. Again, the rationale behind such laws is that children shouldn’t be exposed to sexually-charged performances of any kind. Most of us wouldn’t advocate to repeal age requirements for strip clubs no matter how “family friendly” they might be. Tennessee’s law, for example, specifically hinges on “adult-oriented performances that are harmful to minors.”

We can argue over the details of what kind of performances fit into that definition, but that’s a matter of legislative clarification rather than opposition to the idea that minors should have access to sexually explicit entertainment.

Conservative politicians have also enacted laws requiring transgender athletes to participate in youth sports leagues corresponding to their biological sex. Alabama’s HB391 for example, notes that “physical differences between biological males and biological females have long made separate and sex-specific sports teams important so that female athletes can have equal opportunities to compete in sports.”

This isn’t a law designed to vilify or target transgender individuals. Pointing out the physical advantages males enjoy over females in sports is a biological reality. Arguing that relatively few biological men actually transition to women isn’t the point. Many Americans reasonably believe that affirming an individual’s gender shouldn’t come at the expense of competitive fairness.

We can disagree about whether any of the aforementioned laws should be enacted, but suggesting they have no rational basis isn’t honest. Being transgender isn’t a crime. Neither is believing that gender isn’t a matter of personal preference.

Our culture is craven and loud. We need to find a little empathy. I can’t imagine feeling as if my biological sex and gender didn’t match. None of us should hate, fear, or abuse transgender individuals, but transgender Americans can’t and shouldn’t force others to adopt their views on gender when it comes to public policy.

Take the advocacy position “Trans women are women,” as a perfect example. While some Americans embrace that perspective without difficulty, others simply do not and will not. That doesn’t make them hateful. They aren’t bigots. Rejecting someone else’s view of gender identity is not an attack. It’s a disagreement.

My family friend who happens to be transgender has never asked me to use new pronouns or change my perspective on gender at all. I use masculine personal pronouns because I value him as an individual. He matters to me and my family regardless of his gender. I do however think he could choose a better GOP presidential candidate in 2024.

The suicide statistics for transgender individuals are comparatively astronomical. Instead of isolating and fearing transgender individuals, we should engage and befriend them. Gender identity issues are complex and emotionally charged. Only by engaging in honest and respectful dialogue will we find solutions that protect children and affirm the dignity of all individuals, regardless of their gender identity.

Smith is a recovering political attorney with four boys, two dogs, a bearded dragon, and an extremely patient wife. He’s a partner in Triptych Media, a business strategy wonk, and a regular on talk radio. Please direct outrage or agreement to [email protected] or @DCameronSmith on Twitter.