Dear Annie: Our toddler has a complete meltdown every week when her dad leaves for work

Dear Annie: Our toddler has a complete meltdown every week when her dad leaves for work

Dear Annie: My husband and I have two kids, a 3-year-old and 6-month-old. My husband drives a semi, so he’s on the road and usually gone Monday through Friday. Occasionally, he leaves Sunday afternoons depending on the weather and where he’s headed.

My issue is with our toddler. She is a very smart kid and very understanding, but after he leaves for the week, she is a total mess — temper tantrums, acting out, crying, yelling, the whole nine yards. I am very patient with her as I know it’s hard when he leaves. I have explained things to her over and over again as to why daddy has to work. (I’m a stay-at-home mom.) It doesn’t seem to help with her attitude, though. She has her daddy blanket, one of his old pillows and one of his company shirts over the pillow. Is there anything else I can do to help her?

I keep our days busy enough to keep her active but not overstimulated. It breaks my heart, especially tonight when she said, “It’s all my fault daddy had to leave” while crying her little heart out. I just sat with her and hugged her while explaining it wasn’t her fault at all. I don’t like seeing her like this. When he is home, she is glued to him and they do spend lots of time together. — Toddler Missing Daddy

Dear Missing Daddy: Extended periods of time away from a parent on such a regular basis is understandably hard for any kid to grapple with. Add in how young your daughter is and it only makes things more difficult; she doesn’t fully understand why daddy is gone, just that she misses him terribly when he is.

It sounds like you’re doing what you can to support her — and big kudos to you. Being a stay-at-home mom with two young kiddos and a husband who travels as much as yours can’t be easy. You didn’t mention phone calls with your husband while he’s away. Work permitting for him, of course, daily chats will give your girl something to look forward to until she can see him in person again. Having her cross off days on the calendar until your husband is back home can also be a good way to keep her spirits up — something that’s interactive and helps her visualize the timeline better.

When he is back in town, suggest that your husband organize daddy-daughter dates for just him and her to go out and do together. Whether it’s going to the park or getting ice cream, these little moments will be a special way for them to connect one-on-one and hopefully help tide her over in his absence.

Dear Annie: Your response to “Confused Dad,” whose wife has recently started berating him relentlessly, didn’t mention the possibility of his wife suffering from postpartum depression. The writer seemed to indicate this was not always how his wife had behaved. Postpartum depression is an underdiagnosed condition, and one that could be life-altering for the entire family. He may wish to urge his wife to be screened by her OB-GYN. — Been There Before

Dear Been There: A number of readers suggested the possibility of postpartum depression. Thank you for your input. That certainly could be a reason for her abrupt change in behavior.

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