Dear Annie: My roommate, who is also my ex-boyfriend, was involved in a car accident a few months ago. His car was totaled in the process, but he is OK and was not seriously injured. He had to quit his job but has recently found a new one that pays a lot better than his last.

My car has become the primary car of use for him to get to work. I am working nights, and I have to rush home so that he can get to work on time. He is also making plans to work overtime on Saturdays without really talking to me about it as it pertains to transportation.

I am technically living under his roof, and there are always unexpected visitors here on the weekend. Saturday is my escape day to myself. I feel like I don’t really have a leg to stand on in terms of saying anything to him about this selfish behavior; he has threatened to kick me out before.

I was looking for a second job for a while before his accident so that I’d be able to move out on my own. I am also really not comfortable with him driving my car at all because this is the second car he has totaled since we’ve known each other. My car is leased AND it is a Kia, so I am in constant fear of it being either stolen or crashed while he has it.

I want to voice my opinion and suggest alternatives, but I feel uncomfortable doing so. — Car-Cruncher’s Ex-Girlfriend

Dear Car-Cruncher’s Ex: You’re right to feel uneasy about this auto arrangement. Sharing a car with your ex-boyfriend, given his reckless driving record, is a recipe for disaster. Your varied schedules alone make it difficult, but should he get into yet another accident, you face liability and an insurance battle at the hands of another driver.

Now’s the time to hit the brakes. Pick a date that’s best for you and let your ex know that starting then, your car will no longer be available to him for regular transportation. Whether it’s finding his next car, biking to work, using public transit or borrowing a car from someone else he knows, there are ample options for him to get around that don’t involve your wheels.

As you mentioned, though, be prepared for him to rethink your current living arrangement, either out of spite or simply circumstance, now that you two are no longer in a relationship. Keep your ear to the ground on alternate places to live. I’m confident it would be a good fresh start for you both.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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