Dear Annie: It will soon be my 40th birthday, and I’m feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety with this pending milestone event. Intuitively, I understand that it is an arbitrary number. My body feels the same as it did yesterday, and nothing appears to be changing. However, emotionally, it feels like everything is changing. And I feel that when I wake up on my birthday, all will change, suddenly.

I also know that when I crossed these milestones previously, nothing was different. Yet, even as I recognize these realities, I can’t stop fretting over the aging process. I’m losing sleep worrying about it, and it occupies my thoughts constantly. This has been ongoing for a few months now.

What can I do to settle my mind? How can I become confident as I age? I need your help! — Fretting the Next Day

Dear Fretting: First, and most importantly, happy birthday! As we age, most people become anxious about adding one more year to our age rather than enjoying the day as a way to celebrate what we’ve accomplished and what’s still ahead.

No one can avoid aging, but it’s important to remember that each new year enables us to experience life in new ways and to grow. Aging gives us opportunities to spend with family and friends, to meet friends, see new places, taste new foods and on and on. Rather than looking anxiously toward the day, look excitedly toward the next experience and appreciate every little moment. The summation of these memories will create a rich and well-lived life. Also, remember that your birthday is a very special day that your parents want to celebrate. Your birth marked an extraordinary experience in their lives.

Dear Annie: This is a few months too late, but in response to the many letters about sending out Christmas cards, I’d like to share my experience. A couple of years ago, my husband was experiencing some ill health during the Christmas season. It was a very difficult time that we were going through, and I was unable to send our Christmas cards as I had done for so many previous years. Instead, with the help of my computer and email, I created a beautiful e-card, complete with holiday pictures copied and pasted from the internet. These cards can be as creative as one wishes by using family pictures or any other holiday decor. Just add a thoughtful message/greeting, along with your love and wishes for blessings for them in the New Year. Now, I quickly am able to “send” greetings to all on my card list in no time at all. I’ve done this with birthdays, too. Many of your readers might enjoy “sending” their cards in this way. It’s fun and SO easy! — Mary, Florida

Dear Mary: Sometimes, all it takes to make a frustrating situation easier is to look at it from a different angle. In this case, you were willing to untraditionally maintain a tradition by stepping outside your comfort zone, sitting down at your computer and creating an e-card that shared your appreciation for your loved ones — no stamps required! And best of all, you were able to spend more time with your husband while he was ill. Thank you for sharing.

Dear readers: Annie is on vacation this week. Today’s column originally ran in 2020.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

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