This is a guest opinion column

The Birmingham News’ April 2, 2021 edition front page read “A Guilty Plea and a Vow to Fight Domestic Abuse.” It referred to our precious Megan’s unthinkable murder and our family’s response; so, on this second anniversary, we want to report on that vow.

For us, the only way to survive Megan’s death was to “Not be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21), so we created a charitable fund at the Community Foundation of Greater Birmingham in Megan’s memory. Hundreds of donors locally, across Alabama and 28 other states gave generously.

Over the last 18 months, we’ve (Megan’s Foundation) distributed almost $50,000 to Alabama schools, for them to provide age appropriate, evidence-based programs to prevent interpersonal violence (IPV) BEFORE it starts. We don’t teach curricula, nor do we require a school to adopt a specific one. We are simply acting as a catalyst to spur educational institutions to action with our innovative funding.

Educators have told us the number one barrier to providing this life changing education is lack of time and staff. Our funding eliminates that barrier by giving them the financial resources to hire part time staff to get the job done.

Catherine Alexander-Wright, LICSW-S, 23- year veteran in domestic violence services said “Megan’s Fund grants are meeting a significant unmet need; the huge gap in services that exists in primary prevention programming.”

Megan’s Foundation is the only charitable fund in Alabama that focuses 100% on funding primary prevention services. Historically, communities, nonprofits and government agencies have provided funding and services for victims, as a response to IPV, to reduce assaults and homicides. But too many survivors live with trauma-induced fear, anxiety, depression, and PTSD many years after.

Our initial goal was to provide grants to schools to provide healthy relationship education, for the most at risk age group of 16-24 year-old girls to learn how to protect themselves: learn about the red flags of a controlling and abusive boyfriend before it escalates to violence. The negative impacts of this type of trauma can be devastating – youth who survive teen dating violence are more likely to experience long-term mental health consequences including depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide, and may also engage in unhealthy coping behaviors such as using tobacco, drugs, and alcohol.

But then we learned the greatest truth and the greatest challenge about domestic violence services from Allison Dearing, the Executive Director of One Place Family Justice Center. She says “It’s high time we stop expecting victims to protect themselves. It’s on the systems that exist. Law enforcement, the courts, prosecution, healthcare. Enough is enough.”

In Dr. David Adams 2007 book “Why Do They Kill: Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners” he says DV is NOT a crime of passion, but escalating and predictable over time and preventable, with lifelong predisposing patterns. Those patterns of control start as early as middle school.

And in 2022, Jefferson County D.A. Danny Carr echoed: “Seventy four percent of ALL homicide offenders in Jefferson County had a history of domestic violence. They were never held accountable and their crimes escalated and they went on to murder someone.”

And if that’s not enough to warrant early intervention, let’s look at the statistics:

People age 18-24 are the highest risk age group for dating violence and they have the highest rate of stalking victimization.

In 2019, 1 in 11 female teens and 1 in 15 male teens experienced physical dating violence.

College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 70% say they want to help a friend in an abusive relationship, but 58% don’t know how to.

• Over the course of a single year, 1.5 million teenagers experience physical abuse from a dating partner. 5
• Over 21 percent of college students report having experienced abuse by their current partner and 32 percent having endured dating violence at the hands of their previous partner.
• Tragically, only 33% of teens ever tell anyone and 50% of youth reporting dating violence and rape reported attempting suicide.

“Research indicates that close friendships and open discussions among peers about dating challenges or issues can help prevent adolescent dating abuse” says One Love Foundation.

Learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is NOT sex ed, and it is not faith-based. It includes understanding consent, (how to say no, how to accept being told no), establishing boundaries, resolving conflicts without violence, regulating your emotions, respect and empathy, how to break up safely, the red flags of a potentially controlling or violent partner, bystander intervention, and holding peers accountable for disrespectful behavior.

“Research says long-term exposure to prevention training is key to preventing sexual & dating violence. But many institutions satisfy federal requirements through a single workshop offered during orientation.” Mary Sue Coleman, President of the Association of American Universities.

The March 2023 Chronicle of Higher Education stated “We need to take steps to foster knowledge, skills and support to help prevent and reduce the negative impact of violence and other trauma to improve mental health. School-based activities can make a profound difference in the lives of teens. Even small support to schools will make a difference.”

We applaud the courageous leaders at Samford University, The University of West Alabama, Alabama State University, Girl Spring, Girl Scouts of North Central Alabama, Restoration Academy, Wallace State Community College, YWCA of Central Al and UAB, for utilizing our grants to provide initiatives on safe & healthy relationships with programs they organize internally which are relevant to their specific student culture.

Now that we are a newly formed 501c3 public charity, we are deeply grateful to these outstanding corporate leaders for their early generous support and partnerships for our mission: Medical Properties Trust, Inc., Collat Family Foundation, Ann & Angelo Bruno Family Foundation, ERA King Real Estate, Coca Cola Bottling Company UNITED, Edgar’s Bakery, and others.

While Megan’s Foundation grantmaking and collaborations are critical, is it only one of several community approaches that needs to be utilized to address this intractable crisis of violence against women and girls.

We have much work ahead of us to reach across the state, but with our dedicated founding board members Kathy Miller; Dotti Bailey, DSW, LICSW; Catherine Alexander-Wright, LICSW-S; and Bill Heath, we are confident we can grow our volunteer and funding bases to make it happen.

We have spent more than two years constantly reaching out to like-minded organizations. We are so encouraged that leaders are now reaching out to us to learn about PRIMARY IPV prevention; not only locally, but state-wide and nationally as well. By the grace of God, we are definitely on the right track.

In summary, we are making good on our vow.

For Megan.

Susann Montgomery-Clark, Rod Clark, Meredith Montgomery-Price, Megan’s mother, stepdad and sister

The author, Susann is a 36 year veteran of fundraising in Birmingham, having held leadership positions at United Way of Central Al and Ascension St. Vincent’s Foundation and her own Clark Consulting LLC. When Megan died, she closed her consulting practice to devote the rest of her life to fulfilling Megan’s vision. She and husband Rod Clark and daughter Meredith co-founded Megan’s Foundation and have been working non-stop as volunteers for Megan ever since. Contact: [email protected]