DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a gated community. There is a gate box where people can punch in the code to open the gate and let them in.

In both of our vehicles, we have a remote that we press to open the gate. There have been numerous occasions when I’ve been behind someone attempting to enter the code, and I have used the remote to open the gate for them.

Is it impolite to give a brief honk on my car horn to let the person know the gate is opening, or should I just wait until they notice it’s opening, thinking they’ve done it?

GENTLE READER: But then how will they learn?

Granted, the second option is more entertaining, what with its potential to convince these drivers that they are magical. But it is more damaging to their learning curve — and your wait time — in the long run.

Miss Manners suggests instead that you give that brief honk, followed by a little wave and point that says, “We have the remote. And you do not.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.