DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents decided to throw us a housewarming party — the day after we moved our family of five into a new home. They invited some people around town who’d known me as a kid. They also invited my friends, and then asked them to invite more people. And they brought their own snacks.

We had been cleaning the apartment we had moved out of, and still needed to put up curtains and assemble beds in the new place. The guests were polite, but did not help us unpack, except for my brother, who helped me with my daughter’s bed. Was there a polite way I could have asked these unexpected guests to leave so we could continue working?

GENTLE READER: Trying to explain to guests that, while it is true they were invited to your new home, you are not responsible for making them feel welcome because you were unaware an invitation had been sent is a bit like trying to explain to the police that, although you admit to driving the getaway car, you had no idea your friend intended to rob the bank.

Your audience will be skeptical — if not outright hostile — and you cannot rely on the people who know the truth to back up your story.

Miss Manners says this to encourage you to pay greater attention to your parents’ plans in the future, in case you missed an earlier opportunity to squelch this one. By the time everyone had arrived, the most you could do politely was look so tired and overwhelmed that the guests decamped voluntarily — or pitched in.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.